Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
don't judge my taste in strippers
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
