it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
