I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
