listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize