Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
