it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
