i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
