Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
