On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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