Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
