I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
