We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
