sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
