There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
