But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize