Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
