You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
this beer tastes like vomit already
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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