Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I had to cum in my sink.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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