This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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