we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
