hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
