I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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