No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
