Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize