I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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