Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
