If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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