I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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