i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize