I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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