i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
