Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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