we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
