he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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