I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
