This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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