I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
