it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
