Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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