Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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