you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
