Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
