Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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