I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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