There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
