it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
