Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize