Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize