actually, I'm a sock model
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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