Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
