if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize