writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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