honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
