We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
