your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
