And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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