Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
