Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
